Life.

This past couple of weeks has been very interesting. I resigned from my position at the hospital, for one. After seeing some things happen that shouldn't have, and dreading work every night due to over working the CNA's, I quit. Leaving a job, especially after working there just a short while is not something I like to do. But, sometimes, you have to realize that if you don't like what your doing, it's time to change.

I applied to OSU the 14th of August, and was accepted the 18th. Yes, classes started the 18th too! I enrolled the 20th and went to class the 22nd. I am getting my degree in elementary education. All of my high school "career tests" indicated I would be great at teaching or counseling. So, since I like kids and did always want to be a teacher when I was younger, I thought why not? My classes are going great. I enjoy learning some new things and feel like there are endless possibilities now. Thankfully, I qualified for plenty of financial aid so I don't have to work this semester or next unless I just want to. It's been a long time since I have been in that position.

As for the health watch....It's getting better I think. I've lost 10 pounds in the past two weeks. I'm finally down to 195. My goal is another 45 pounds. After next week I'm going to start going to the Colvin center on the days I have class.

Shaw has surgery on his parathyroid Tuesday. He's nervous--actually very nervous about it. I can't blame him, he's going to have his throat slit open. If they accidently sever one nerve he will have a hoarse voice forever, if they cut both of them, he'll have to have an emergency tracheotomy and won't be able to talk. Scary! I'll update after he has surgery.

Health Watch

Today I went back to my doctor for results of many tests I have taken over the past month. It was a real eye opener, and I'm thankful I went to my doc. I know I havn't taken much care of my body in a long time. My diet leaves much room for improvement, and I am practically sedentary at home.

The first bit of information was that there were no cysts or signs of recent cysts on my ovaries. Alright...we are doing good there. Then, I was informed that the CT scan I had on my brain several weeks ago caught something. This something is a sinus vein that is longer than it should be. It goes right through my Right Frontal Lobe...not normal. It poses an increased risk for strokes and aneurisms (sp?). For years I have noticed that when I am upset, or my blood pressure is high, I have a thobbing dull pain on the right side of my brain. I have always wondered about it..hoping it was okay. But now, I know what the cause of this pain is. Lastly, I was informed that my cholestorol was great at only 160. However, my TRIGLYCERIDES were 572! The normal is ONLY 100-200. Plus my blood pressure was 168/84..wow!

My physician prescribed me some diet pills and required me to schedule an appt. with the dietician. He told me I HAVE to start exercising outside of work AND start eating right. From the information I have found about high tri's, calorie counting is the biggest culprit. Excess calories can be turned into tri's...therefore, it's EXTREMELY important to limit your calorie intake to only the amount you can burn in a day. I have to "weigh" in once a month to make sure I'm making progress too.

What it all boils down to is if I want to be around to watch my daughter grow up, I MUST make some lifestyle changes. This is something I don't like very well. But, at 204 pounds, 5'2" I am NOT healthy and must start now. At this moment, I am a ticking time bomb. I could "go off" at any time. Dwelling on that aspect will get me nowhere. However, making the changes necessary to continue to live a healthy and long life are crucial at this point. It's a crossroad, and I must choose. One path will lead me to an early grave. Another will lead me to a healthier, longer life. It's no longer a game to make excuses for...it's not only one that affects me, but my husband, my daughter, and any future children.

More Possibilities

The other night at work was a true eye opener. It was me and one other aide for 33 patients. It was busy, crazy and not an environment I felt safe working in at that point. We were running ragged by the time the morning came around. To top things off, a patient coded and died in the last hour of our shift. I froze. The CNA's are the ones that perform CPR. Thank God the aid from upstairs got to the scene first. I watched a patient die that shouldn't have died. So, it became clear to me that I have to get out of health care. I may be an okay CNA, but this is not what I wish to do forever. This is not something I wish to continue with more education. The decision to pursue a non medical job and career have now became my desire. Watching a patient die isn't something new. However, it was a culmination of the entire night that made me realize healthcare is no longer the profession I should be in. Employers care more about saving money by cutting staff than keeping patients safe and satisfied.

On the otherhand, speaking of health care....I've been sick...alot this week. Headaches, nausea/vomitting, aches, and fever. I feel like crap.